My New Journey

So yesterday 10/7 I started my part time job. Its all the PAL (Police Athletic League) Center here in Delaware. I will be a mentor in a suicide prevention program with about 12 kids ranging from ages 12 to 14 all in Middle School.

I met the kids yesterday and got excited to feel like I am contributing to someones life.
Towards the end of the night we had the parents come in and there was a speaker giving them information on the program and Suicide itself.

I went into this thinking I would be giving someone something....that if one kids got something from me, then my job would be worth it. Not knowing that maybe God put me here for me to get something out of it too.

I was so overwhelmed with emotion through the whole presentation. To hear that a 10 year old child took his life here in Delaware is something I cant even imagine. How can someone that young have so much hurt inside that they feel like the only way out, is to take their own life. That breaks me in such a big way. My son is 11, I couldn't imagine him being in so much pain. TO hear how many kids actually think about taking their own life is sickening and we need to do something.

As a society, as parents,we have gotten so caught up in life...cooking..cleaning...running them to practices...being parents...that we forgot to just stop and listen.We have forgotten that no matter how many things we give our kids, the greatest gift of all is being present. And I don't mean physically I mean mentally and emotionally. We have forgotten to ask our child how their day was and  making them feel like we care...we have forgotten to give our children the gift of an ear to listen....to let them know that we are there for them no matter how big or how small.
The presenter gave a great analogy. He said that when a bone is broken we take them to the hospital. when a child breaks his elbow for instance, we take them to the hospital and they get a cast for it to heal. When a child has a broken heart there is no cast to put it in to heal. They have to walk around acting like everything is ok, they have to walk around with a broken heart. When he said that my heart dropped bc, as you know, I have been broken hearted so, I completely understand that pain. Imagine having that at 10 or 11...


Depression is obviously a factor in suicide and, in our society getting help for a "mental" illness is almost non existence. Its like people are ashamed to get help for it. So we just assume things will be ok. We have to get to a place where, we realize that depression will not just go away. That we will not just wake up one morning and not be depressed. That feeling will continue until we deal with the issue.

Our children scream for help and we have to listen. This is our future and we have to want better for them. In my heart I feel like this is where God wants me to be. I'm so blessed and so thankful for this opportunity.