Fathers Day

I didn't have the best relationship with my father. I was actually on a 20 year anger streak that was controlling my life.

But I realized that in order for me to love ANY man, I had to first learn how to love THIS man. So I stopped playing... VICTUM and pointing the finger at my father for what he did or didn't do in my life. I had to realize that my dad doesn't control my happiness-- I DO. So I let go of the anger that some women go to their graves with.

I decided to love my father for who he is. And who he is, I don't have to be. I can just LOVE HIM. And accept where I came from, then choose where I'm going.

Loving my father feels so much better than hating him.

Your childhood didn't have to be great, but your womanhood can be AMAZING.

I LOVE YOU DAD... HAPPY FATHERS DAY!!

 

 

This was posted on face book and it is exactly how I feel about my father.

Although I am the "baby" I am not spoiled or a daddy's girl...I am far from that. Honestly, I would give anything to have a good relationship with my dad. But I have accepted who he is and that is not a good person. My father is an alcoholic. He gets really mean when he drinks, to me that is. Its crazy because I live with him. Apart of me hasn't left because I feel in my heart that my dads time on this earth is short, and I am afraid no one will even notice he is gone. So I stay and apart of me waits. Everyone seems to make excuses for what he "becomes" and not even realizing that that is who he is. I no longer make excuses for him, I have accepted him.

 

There was a point in time where I would have given anything to be "daddy's girl" I let that go and with therapy I have learned to just accept things as they are and not wait for something better. I am not bitter. I have learned why God has put the people in my life that he has, the way he has. I am blessed....

 

At the same time I look at my son. As a mother I know that I can not ever give him what a "father" could. I can never teach him how to be a man, because I don't know what it takes to be one. I do my best alone, but it breaks me to know that that void is something I can never fill. I am blessed to be surrounded by men that help guide him. One day I know I God will bring someone in my life to take that role. Until then, I will do my best!

 

Happy Fathers Day , even though I am a day late....