Deep in thought

There are things about my life, I'm sorry, you will never understand. How after all the hurt and pain I still hold my heart in my hand.

People are always surprised when they find out I am single. At this point in my life, this great place I am with myself, I know what I want, I know where I want to be...but most importantly I know what I deserve.

I choose for so long to settle for less because my insecurity allowed me to believe I was not good enough, that I didn't deserve better/more.

I am so blessed to be in such a good place with myself....that I can love....and allow someone to love me.

The biggest lesson that I learned was how to allow someone to love me.....for the first time ever....I am ready to receive that . I am ready to be loved.


When I do get approached by a guy, which isn't often, they always seem to not be ready. Lets get this straight...I want to have a family, to be married and have more children. That is what I want. And I'm not willing to settle for anything less because that is what I deserve.

I've learned to listen to what people say....so many times we are so caught up in "love" the feeling that we forget to stop and listen. If you were paying attention from the beginning we could have prevented some heart break, if we would have simply paid attention....

Take a minute and reflect on a past relationship. Think about what "went wrong" now lets think about when you first met that person....when they really showed you who they were...there have always been what we call the "warning signs" but at that time we were so caught up in feelings that we choose to disregard them, we didn't pay attention.

In my past relationships there were so many things that I didn't pay attention to. As much as I want to be a wife.. He always said to me....he didn't want to get married, I thought that maybe one day he would change his mind. As big as I am on family, he was so distant with his, to the point where he wouldn't come with me to my family gatherings...he disregarded what was important to me. I thought one day he would care enough about me to change.

Why does this happen? Simply because we tend to fall in love with the person we know someone could be...instead of the person they are and the person they showed us they are.

I know we all have heard of the famous saying "when someone shows you who they are, believe them"

So I've learned to pay attention. I've learned to listen. I've learned that I don't have time to waste. So I'm single because I haven't found anyone worth changing that title.

But I have God on my side...and baby....I know that what He has in store for me is more then I ever imagined.