Thankful

 

 

I have been on a reflection kick lately. Looking back at where I was a year ago, I don't know how I made it here. I'm so proud of me. I was in such a dark, depressing place. Its hard to wake up one morning and realize that everything you thought you had, your future, Your life as you knew it, your everything was destroyed, it was is gone, just like that.... it was gone. There were mornings I didn't want to get out of bed, there were times I would just lay in bed and sob...not cry but an uncontrollable sob that made my whole body shake. There were nights I cried out to God for help because I felt like I couldn't make it another day. I asked for guidance, I asked for strength, I surrendered myself to God. My faith was tested, my self worth was compromised and my whole being was destroyed. Somehow I woke up each morning through clearer eyes from crying the night before, I was able to see myself, my life, the world with a clearer view. No one knew/knows how bad it was....

 

I can honestly stand here today and I am so thankful. I am in a place that I have never been. I am so grateful for the challenge and where I was last year. I am thankful for everything I have been through. Because  with out all that I wouldn't be where I am. I can say that the next person that loves me, the next person that I decide to give my heart to, will have someone that no one can ever say they had. Its a new me, in such a big way. I realized that all that I was searching for, the void I had, only I could fill...and I am full....

 

The God I serve, I believe in, is an AMAZING God...

 

I didnt mean to get all spiritual but this is the way I feel today...and no matter what, or who you believe in, I hope that that gives you the strength when you feel weak. I pray that you are just as blessed as I am..