All A Lie

 

All A lie

 

In an instant everything was taken away. I was left just as bare as I was when I came into the world.

 

If anyone, I thought you would be the one to hold me down. You proved me wrong, as you always do.

I wonder why I'm still here. Holding your hand with tears in my eyes.

I think that, in a way, I am waiting for you to realize this is worth fighting for. That I, am worth fighting for.

I can feel my knees giving in underneath me. And I wonder how long I can stand here.

I've felt so strong when it comes to you, to us and yet right now…You are my weakness.

Alone

After so long I feel like everything I worked up to, us, has been nothing but a mirage. I've gotten to the end of my road and there's nothing here. Not even you

I don't remember seeing another path so I am wondering where we went wrong, where we grew apart.

Confused

It's like I'm waiting for a sign, even though I know in my heart I will never receive. But I'm still here, still waiting.

I'm not willing to settle for less then what I know we could be, Maybe you think that's ok, but I don't. Maybe you think that this is what we are supposed to be., Well I don't

 

I don't think I was supposed to fall this hard, for you. Was I supposed to get this close to you?

 

I would give anything to be able to run away.

 

I'm consumed by negative thoughts. There was a time where I could see no wrong when it came to you. A time where I had so much faith and confidence in us, in where I stood in this thing we call a relationship. Now I find myself doubting even your "good morning. "

 

I wonder why you are keeping me here. It seems like everyone else is taking my place, that I am standing in the back of the line, waving ,my hands, waiting and hoping you see me all the way back here. I wonder if you can hear me through all the noise everyone else is making.

 

I feel empty handed, like I provide nothing to you, as if I am wasting space in your life. I wonder if one day you will want that space that I occupy back. If you will find something to fill the space where I once stood. I am still trying to find my place in your life, after so long. Find something that I can say only I can do for you, give to you. A sense of purpose.

 

 

Tell me that you love me, even if it's a lie….

 

9/2011