For so long I was lost inside of a place where there was no light at the end. I searched and waited and it never came.
Someone came along and gave me hope. Made me realize that love didn't exist in just fairy tales. I fell in love with this man. In his eyes I seen more then what he was....that man I grew close to, the friend I trusted....the father a child was lucky to have. In his eyes there was hope....there was a desire and a want for love...just like me.
I've lost him...more then once and although I tell myself to let go,  its a struggle everyday. Its almost like if I let go I'm letting go of everything I ever wanted, my dream. So I grasp onto what I Believe in....in him....in us..
And he's no longer here. I forget what his voice sounds like....and my heart cries out for him. Its almost like someone turned off my favorite song, the one I had on repeat for so long.
 Someone stole my song.
And its stupid for me to be here...because I'm at a place I've always been, alone. But somehow this time it seems so different. Its like I can feel him near.
He meets me in my dreams and I'm left to wonder if I meet him in his. If when he closes his eyes its me he sees. I wonder if he still holds onto me.
Maybe even just a little bit.
If some days he thinks about the times we laughed till 2 in the morning. Some mornings I still wait for his good morning texts. I wonder if he stops himself from sending them.
At the same time I wonder if it was all just apart of a bigger plan. Maybe I was being taken for a fool, but jokes never felt that good. I don't want to believe it was unreal. Ill hold onto what I know it to be...because some where deep inside I know he is thinking and feeling the same thing. I know because my heart has never lied and he still lives in me...