Todays Thoughts....

I’ve realized that all this time I have been living in a bubble I call my life.

I lost myself along the way and got use to what I called my Normal.

People have always said that, Love is Blind. I never believed it until one day I woke up and the world I once knew, was taken from me.

Somehow I felt relieved. Almost like it needed to be done, I just didn’t know how.

I prayed for the strength, to walk away. And every time I felt strong enough, you took it away.

I sacrificed so much for this thing I called Love.  I always thought that is what you do when you love. Never noticing that, I was slowly slipping away from me.

I was left to pick up the pieces. On my knees, crying out for help. My knees hurting for the pain of being so vulnerable. But somehow this seems like home. I’ve been here for so long that I have become numb.

Being thrown into a world with no protection for everyone to see.

There were nights I cried myself to sleep. Looking myself in the mirror and I didn’t know who stood looking back at me.

Feeling like I wasn’t enough. Even though I put on this face that everything’s ok, inside there are days that I’m slowly falling apart. 

Realizing that my everything wasn’t enough, the hardest lesson to learn when your eyes are clouded by tears.

I was strong when it came to you. Even with all the doubt I held inside. I kept telling myself that this is what Love is supposed to be.  

Not realizing that LOVE was never what we had. 

I wouldn’t call all this time a waste. I realized that even though I lost myself with you, I will never allow someone’s feelings come before my own.  Happiness comes from within and that’s something that no one can ever give you, if you haven’t given it to yourself first.  

I don’t regret the past because I am who I am because of it. I now know that I cannot carry a relationship on my own. I’m not strong enough! I stood by your side because I was supposed to. That was my job, I supported you, even when I knew it was wrong, because I loved you. Every time I needed you, standing alone was the point where I realized I had already let go. 

God has wiped my tears and allowed me to see why people are in my life, and why some I had to let go of. And in doing so I found myself in the eyes of someone else.  

LOVE never looked this good!!!!